What am I doing??

Okay I am so sure most of you balance work and home kids money finances and bills I mean I can go on and on is 5 o'clock in the morning right now and all I can do is think about all the things that I didn't get done somewhere im going to have to balance home work chores and sciences the most important going to have to balance my husband and children in that busy life I feel so bad that I have not been a part of my children's school life it's not like me to not be a part of their school life their parties their school activities feel trips I can do it if it I also feel bad for not taking the time out for me I feel lazy and I feel overwhelmed does anybody else get the? Or my the only one I don't know exactly how to balance this I'll be there always been the working mom with one kid or the stay-at-home mom with three children.at this point I just don't know what to do anymore anymore energy so I buy supplements I need to lose weight so I have my pills nothing works I have to much stress things are barely getting better with my husband and my children well they're my children sweet loving defiant the children and then I have their father loves to just add more the number one person I depend on to help me raise my children I can't rely on him and then he makes me feel like it's my fault he can't be a father WTF so I guess this following week coming up I'm going to research over the weekend how to balance work and home I need to get organized I need to quit just saying quit making excuses my days will start at 3 AM I'll go to the gym workout get myself healthy because if I'm not I'll see how much a show my children to be healthy come home do a chore Weatherby laundry clean up the bathroom takes 15 minutes I have to do something I can't just want it to fall in place I need my marriage to work so I have to work at it as well I believe now he's on the same page as me that it can just be for me it's going to have to come from him and then include affection and last night was amazing no sex just pure affection and I felt so good I'm hopeful hopefully that'll work in the meantime I will keep my head up and I will continue to go strong and loving in my marriage okay so we're wasn't yes 3 AM mornings and go to work thankfully I have someone who can still help me with the kids but on that note I have to make sure that they have everything they need so Sunday's looks like a good day I have to meal plan I have to pull out outfits for the week I will make Wyatts lunch every day before I go to bed this can work Lotta people do it I just need to have the drive and I know I want this so it will happen